A BRIEF GLIMPSE
In 2016 my husband was offered a job as a government contractor. When he first heard of the job it was supposed to be sites CONUS.
Let me stop right there and explain a few military/contracting lingos that took me years to understand!
- CONUS: The 48 CONtiguous States and the District of Columbia or “the lower 48, as they’re affectionately known to the Alaskans.” In simpler terms it means stateside.
- OCONUS: Any country or place beyond the CONUS. Alaska, Hawaii and the U.S. territories are considered overseas under the Space-A Regulation. Again in simpler terms it means NOT stateside.
Alright now that those two lingos are out of the way let me continue.
About a week before our wedding his new job decided to switch from CONUS to OCONUS. At first I thought that meant just a few weeks or a few months overseas and he would be back home. Oh…. how naive I was to this new life we were about to step into.
Fast forward to present day June 19th, 2018. I have only seen my husband 52 days out of 506 days. Depending what country he is in determines the amount of contact we have. I cannot go to far into the places he travels to but lets just say it can be hotter than hell.
Back to the title of this blog post, “Contracting Wife…What’s That”? Well it is a wife who stays back home to deal with bills, every day struggles, some days even slight depression, sex deprived and jealous of couples and families around you. That all sounds negative because if I am being honest with you this life sucks and I would not wish it even on my enemy.
There are a lot of good in this life but this certain blog post is to be raw and vulnerable to the struggles. I will have another showing the perks this week.
BILLS: Aye mamma….bills they do not stop coming in! Now that your husband is overseas the wife has to become the financial lady. Making sure to put money into savings, bills are paid timely and pay for everything your husband needs while he is over in the sandlot. Our biggest struggle for money was when our first overseas phone bill came in….lets just say it was in the thousands. Yup…thousands. We thought we signed an international plan with Verizon that was $1.99 per minute and .99 cents per texts but apparently Verizon changed their fees without telling us to $3.99 per minute and $2 per text. We learned our lesson quick and turned off his phone to avoid any more crazy fees.
EVERY DAY STRUGGLES/SLIGHT DEPRESSION/JEALOUS OF COUPLES AND FAMILIES: I am putting these three together because one bounces off of the other. The every day struggles come in all forms: Getting a nail in your tire, engine light comes on, unexpected bill, and needing to sign something but the power of attorney paper you have doesn’t work, etc. An easy fix to these problems would be to call your husband up to come get the car or to have him sign the paper himself but life with him overseas does not make it that easy. While going through those struggles you also have to deal with seeing other couples together and people saying “They cannot live without their husband/significant other for more than a day” or “I haven’t talked to my man in a few hours…I am going crazy”. I am not hating on those who say that but just saying how hard it is for a wife like me to read that. We DO NOT want to live without our spouse but at this moment in time we have to. We have a jealousy we try to push aside when we see couples holding hands or when you ask a friend/family member to hang out but its their annual date night or even simply….just being able to talk on the same time zone and day. Which que in the slight depression. Some days are harder than others, especially the days when you are trying to talk to your spouse and the Internet on their side decides to not work so you see the circle of death or “poor connection” for 99% of the conversation. Those days get harder because all you want to do is sleep and escape from the world. Not to talk to anyone or explain why you are sad because even if you do explain people who aren’t in this situation just do not understand.
SEX DEPRIVED: Lets get real ladies and gentleman. Sex is a huge key in a marriage and when you only see your spouse 52 days out of 506 you need to learn to be creative and adventurous. I will have a whole separate blog on how we keep the intimacy and kink alive while apart but for now you just get to feel lucky reading this because your spouse is next to you and you can have sex anytime you want. Get it! 😉 Seriously enjoy it..all of it.
Over the next few weeks I will be explaining more and more about what it means to be a contractors wife. This was a welcome to my page and a brief glimpse into our life. Thank you all for reading and please no negative comments. This is simply just our story we want to share. ❤
Love you all ❤