AM I READY FOR THIS? AM I PREPARED?
Breathe…breathe…just breathe. Can this really be happening? Am I finally pregnant? Where is Chance when you need him? The second pink line is not dark enough, maybe it is not correct? I better take another 6 tests to make sure!
The above is only a few of the many thoughts that came rushing through my mind when I peed on that little white stick. I remember sitting in the bathroom in shock. Our dreams have come true. It was almost too perfect of a moment than I let doubt in, thinking maybe this was a false positive. So, at 5 in the morning I decided to call my brother to get my sister in law on the phone. As soon as they picked up, both of them knew right away that I was pregnant. My sister in law facetimed me as I showed her the multiple tests. She had to keep reassuring me that I was pregnant and to push those negative thoughts aside. When we hung up I couldn’t wipe that silly grin off my face and was counting down the minutes until I could tell Chance he was finally becoming a daddy.
After we announced we were pregnant at 7 weeks all the questions and opinions came pouring in. “You are breastfeeding, right?”, “Make sure you don’t have deli meat”, and “You shouldn’t have any caffeine”. There was much too process in such little time.
Through the last 7 months I pretty much have heard almost everything. “You look like you are having twins”, “You must be having a girl your hips are getting wide”, and “Your boobs are going to be the size of Dolly Parton before your milk even comes in”. All of these have made me feel insecure of my pregnant body. About 2 months ago my husband called me and all I could do was cry. Crying at the fact people had so many things to say about my body when this was supposed to be the most beautiful part of a woman’s life. I started comparing my body to other woman who were pregnant. That was honestly the worst thing I could have done. Realizing a few weeks later my body is beautiful the way it is and yes, my boobs are huge and my pregnancy line is crooked but it’s my body that is keeping our son alive and healthy. I have gained 27 healthy pounds and I still have 12 weeks to go! I am becoming proud of each pound because my body knows what to do to make sure our son comes out on time and is fully developed.
Why do we as moms shame each other for decisions we make for our families? The debates start right away about breastfeeding vs formula, vaccinating your child vs not vaccinating your child, and C-section vs vaginal birth. In today’s society we are seeing woman build each other up in the work force and regular daily life. Why can’t we do the same for mothers to be and those who are already moms? How come everything is one versus another? There should not be debates on ANY of the subjects. In my mind there really is not a wrong answer. The second a woman becomes pregnant our mother instincts kick in and as the old saying goes, “mothers know best”. If mothers know best then we should trust that our fellow mothers-to-be and mothers are making the best decision they can for their family and their child. We should be encouraging one another because being a mom is already the toughest job in the world. We do not need to be competing.
Becoming a mom is one of the most rewarding and hardest things I have ever done. On top of everything a new mama to be is going through I am learning how to go through this process with my husband overseas. The tears come at night when I lay in bed and look to the right where my husband should be lying next to me watching our son kick like crazy in my belly or holding me tight on the days I feel straight up like a whale. This whole process is making me a stronger and more confident woman. There are still moments I am emotional and insecure but that’s exactly what it is, “moments”, not days or weeks. I am not afraid to say that I am still unsure of if I am breastfeeding or formula feeding my son. I am not afraid to say I am vaccinating my child. I am not afraid to say I am okay with a C- Section or vaginal birth. I am not afraid to say I support those moms who choose the complete opposite of me.
If you are a mom or a mom-to-be reading this post know you are doing the best you can and every decision you make, be confident in it 100%. One day us moms will realize there is no wrong answer and only the answer of “mother knows best”. Know none of you are alone and it is okay to admit that this process is hard. You are beautiful at any weight, any pregnancy bump you have is gorgeous, and you are doing a damn well great job.
Thank you all for tuning into today’s blog with my experience of becoming a mom so far. Please no negative comments. I am just sharing our journey. ❤
Love you all!