“COUPLES THAT ARE ‘MEANT TO BE’ ARE THE ONES WHO GO THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT IS MEANT TO TEAR THEM APART AND COME OUT EVEN STRONGER THAN THEY WERE BEFORE.”
The quote above speaks volumes to my husband and I relationship this year. As many of you know he works overseas 98% of the year and has only been able to come home for 30 days each year the past two years. This second year put our relationship to the ultimate test. Being apart for so long is not easy my friends, it is a strain on everyone’s hearts involved.
My husband and I will admit to anyone we are not a perfect couple. We do not always see eye to eye and we have our fights. The distance and time between us have gotten to us a few times were our fights have been so stupid and, in the end, it was out of missing each other without knowing how to express it. Back in the summer we had to deal with our hardest challenge yet. One we both knew would eventually come. Being honest did not know if we could make it through, but at the last second when both of us were so broken and tired we chose to fight for us. Fight for our marriage. Never give up. Honor our vows through the thick and thin. Since that moment him and I have never been closer. Our bond has strengthened to an amount I could not even explain. We have this new understanding of one another.
We chose to put God first, then our marriage, our family and our country. Being a contractor and having to be away from your family is hard on him, while its hard on me back here. So many people ask us “Why does he do what he does?” or “Can’t he quit and come home? This won’t be forever right?”. It bothered me for so long that everyone saw our relationship this way and I would let others opinions fill my head up with doubt. I would question our relationship and our decisions.
After him and I decided to focus on us the reality and confidence came back in our decision for him to be overseas. We are doing what is right for our family and we do not have to explain one damn reason to anyone of why we chose what we did. What we do with our life does not affect anyone else’s and visa versa, no one else’s life will affect yours. Be confident in your choices, whether you are married or not. Whatever YOU decide to do make sure that you understand you will have people question your choice and you will have people talk behind your back. Do not let anyone sway you from your path. I have learned from my mistakes of letting others dictate our marriage and my life, not anymore. God has our path and we have each other. Once you are confident in your stance even the “haters” cannot bring you down.
Our life is always going to look different than others, we won’t get to do what other families do. Same goes for military families when their spouse is deployed. Holidays and milestones may be missed, but whenever your loved one comes home you make up for lost time. Something we decided we are going to do is if we know what holiday he is going to miss this year we will celebrate it before he goes. That way we never truly miss anything together. It is all about our mindset and how we view things. I can play the victim and complain all the time about my husband being gone and always missing everything or him and I can come up with solutions on how to make our time together even more special. Learning to change the way one thinks is probably the hardest thing anyone could do. In our society we see so much negative outlooks on life and the “me me me” mentality that we lose sight of what is right in front of us.
“Cause you never think the last time is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don’t.”- Greys Anatomy. One thing that weighs heavy on my heart every day is to never take for granted any second you are alive. On the news we hear about celebrities dying or plain celebrity gossip but you either never or hardly hear about soldiers and contractors who give up their lives to protect us here so that we can sleep peacefully at night. Never end on a bad note with your loved one because you do not want one moment of anger to be the last memory you have of someone who means the world to you. This quote even goes for those whose loved ones are not overseas. We as a society need to start cherishing more moments together and less time trying to show off. When a loved one goes and we were so caught up in ourselves what memories would we have to carry in our hearts forever?
Thank you to all of you for reading todays post! This blog means so much to us because we have been through a dark time and came out on top. If we can do it than anyone can! Always here to talk if any of you need too. Please no negative comments as this is just me sharing our story.
Love you all ❤