“DEAR MAMA: YOU ARE NOT DOING IT WRONG, IT IS JUST ‘THAT’ HARD”
Everyone has most likely heard the phrase or seen the hashtag #momlife at some point in their life. It is something that every mom in the universe has at least said 1000000000 times. (Okay maybe not that much but you get the point). What does that quote actually mean? We see moms on facebook being so happy about motherhood and talk about how amazing their baby is but when you see moms in person they are worrying if their son or daughter is about to have a meltdown and they may not look as presentable as they do on social media. Why the difference from online and real life?
If you have been following my blog then you know already I am a social media lover and I am an open book who just recently got through postpartum depression. Even though I pushed through PPD that does not mean my days are full of gingerbread cookies and fairies. The days can be even harder than what they were, the difference is now I can handle it better. (Or I try too).
Before I was pregnant when I saw these “Insta” moms on social media I would think to myself “Ohhh that will be me for sure!” and when I would see the mom in the store whose baby is breaking down I would honestly silently judge a little to myself. Have any of you ever judged a mom before you became one? Both of these things are not something I am proud of but I will not lie and say that I haven’t. Becoming a mother is a very humbling gift and process. No one and nothing can prepare you for the amount of love you have for such a tiny human but for also the life that lays to rest to give your new baby a future.
One of the hardest things about becoming a mother is postpartum depression but that does not mean that is the only hard thing. (If you want to hear about my postpartum walk you can find the blog back on the main page ^_^). So lets dig in on the other hard parts.
What does “mom life” actually mean? Every mother in the world has their own version of their “mom life” moment but for me this is how mine is.
Mom life meant putting my son first and myself last, all the while still balancing a relationship with my husband overseas. That’s not even balancing friendships. Let me just say it is not easy…at all. Honestly I have an “easy” baby, he is snuggly and sleeps wonderful at night….for majority of the time BUT last week our son decided to scream all day and nothing…I mean nothing could calm him down. We tried feeding him more, naps, colic drops, gripe water etc…I was loosing my damn mind. During the night I would miss my husbands calls because I could not hear my phone over our sons crying and when ever I did hear my phone I could not talk. During that week I could not even remember if I brushed my teeth that morning or showered at all. Finally one day I broke down and called my sister in law. She had me come over to drop off the baby so I could go to Publix by myself and gather my emotions. I did just that.
During that time at Publix I gathered the things I needed and went to cash register to check out…only to realize….I forgot my wallet at my sister-in-laws house. Instead of crying I busted out laughing because it was a “mom life” moment. That moment made me feel a thousand times better because it showed me this is normal and even though everything was not going “right” in my mind that everything really was still going great. It is okay to not be perfect, or have the best body yet, or to remember your wallet, or to even know why your baby is upset.
Once I got back to my sister in laws house she awesomely calmed James down! I felt so much peace. Later that night my mom, sister in law and I figured he probably needs a sensitive formula and new bottles. Turns out that was exactly what he needed and now my little one is sleeping again through the night and happy during the day.
That horrid week showed me that my son was going off my emotions. He knew I was stressed and in return he became stressed. It was a ripple effect, since we were both stressed I could not think properly on what could have actually been wrong with him. It is okay mammas to reach out for help from time to time. What I needed was to walk away to get a clear mind. That does NOT make you a bad mom and it never will. In my opinion it honestly makes you an awesome mom because you know your limits and you do not want to put your baby through stress. So mamas lets grow out of the teenage bitchy and judgy phase. Let’s really be here for one another. I am no saint, I have been guilty of judging other moms but when rolls were reversed it hits you hard. So its my goal to treat all moms like a “Queen” because them damn well are. Lets be real mammas…no mom is really those “perfect insta moms” we see online, behind every perfect picture is a thousand pictures of the baby not cooperating and a stressed out mom.
A few more funny “mom life” moments:
- While talking to my husband and trying to get stuff out of the fridge I put my phone in the fridge on accident. Totally forgot it was in their for about 20 minutes and my sweet husband stayed on line looking at a gallon of milk. Lets just say he won’t let me live that down.
- Took a quick shower and even got to shave! I felt so refreshed but later that day my mom smelt my hair and said why does it smell weird…I forgot to put shampoo and conditioner in.
- Another time in the shower I shaved one leg and under one arm…totally thought I did both.
I have a tonnnnnnn more but now I want to hear YOURS! Come on mammas I know I am not alone here!
***Soon I will be writing a blog about dealing with becoming a new mom with my husband not here***
Thank you again to all my awesome readers for following alone!
Love you all <333